i'm going away fora bit. maybe for a bit. i don't know. this doesn't seem to be working. i didn't really want to meet everyone, know everyone, because that's when it starts to get personal. and sure enough, it did. i'm far too insecure about these things. but it's ok. they're still friends, i think. anyways, off we go then. keep in touch and all that.

i'm very irritated with myself for having let things get this oput of hand. i'm going back to doing what i do best, it's about time i went back. enough procrastinating. 'tis time. more information here, a place abandoned some time ago. it's good to be back.

I always wake up alone. And it's okay.

somehow, of late, i don't quite manage to get my point across. i procrastinate to make a point. and sometimes i don't let go until i make a point. unfortunately it's not a victory. i feel like i've forgotten what it's like to win, and i don't quite like it.

i've also been wondering what's the point of this blog. not that i'm going, but really, what's the point of having it? i don't like the fact that my friends have come out of this. i don't like the fact that most of my friends outside of this, they don't really know this. and i'm glad for it.

maybe what i'm trying to say is that i'm not sure which is the real me. i'm not sure if what makes me is part this and part real and a part that i don't know exists. i'm not even sure if i want to let friends see me. i realise i restrict their entry to me. i realise this is conscious. i realise that its not entirely what i deserve. i realise it's not what they deserve either. maybe i like short-changing people. maybe i'm not real, maybe i'm not what you think i am. maybe i don't care. maybe i sold out. maybe i went over to the other side.

whatever it is, it's still there.

oh hello. thanks for all that lovely commentature you guys, and to clarify things further, i'm not going anywhere. just figured i should let you guys know just that much before i begin talking about other things.

i've been on a bit of a roller coaster. i feel like someone asked me to bend over, and i did. that's not a nice thing. so i suppose i should basically enjoy giving back what they were so generous with. i'm trying to convince myself that i can enjoy that. who knows i might just pull it off.

other than that, i shall off to see Narnia tomorrow, and a friend as well. not to mention the Kala Ghoda Festival, which, shamefully enough, i've never been to yet. so that needs rectifying i guess. seems silly to be excited about tomorrow. but then again, why the fuck not? i haven't ever been to the KGF before and nor have i seen Narnia before. so many firsts na?

ok i'm going, i can't keep writing this tripe.