so if you're careful, you won't get hurt.

i'm bad at trust. i never even managed to get through those trust games they teach you at theatre workshops. where you have to let other people lead you. the only time i trusted was a game a long time ago.

i don't understand why human beings refuse to understand. themselves, friends, family, people whose eyes they can't look into when they cross paths on a busy street.

our lives are so involved with ourselves, with what we want. we forget possibly that there are things we might need.

that last line I sound like Sri Sri Ravi. Jeez.

i'm back. i'm back at work. new work. have boss with nice stick up her arse. never got along with women anyway. so many pictures waiting to be taken. of course, as always i don't trust myself to do a good job. no matter what who says, mommy knows best.

i'm writing randomly, i know. thoughts aren't as ordered as i'd like them to be.

i don't trust him. i want to, but i can't. he's kind. i keep thanking him. i wonder if he'll want to collect one day.

cosy prisons is a nice song.

i miss my first blog. it was a little like losing my virginity to my first love. or what that kind of thing would feel like.

i wonder if anyone ever loses their virginity to their first love anymore.

i wonder if love at all even exists. why can't we all fall in like rather than face our demons?

i'm really scared of where this is leading.

i'm really scared of a lot of things. including people who can do what i like doing better than me. i just don't want to hate them ever. i try once in a while, to turn a blind eye to them, but of course, it's quite the impossibility.

i wish i was fearless and brave, but that'd make me stupid. i'm not stupid. atleast not that i think. i'm just... scared spitless.